“Clinging to the remnants of perfection
Like most do after they break it
Not knowing which direction’s the correct one
Do I discard or remake it” – Relient K
When I was a little girl the concept of perfection had no meaning to me. In hindsight, one could perhaps argue that I simply lacked the cognitive ability to comprehend it but I have always attributed it to my own admiration of the world. The way I saw it, the world is full of wondrous entities so why pursue what is already present.
I miss my young self sometimes…
My innocent and uncontaminated outlook, my unshakeable faith in those around me and my uncountable dreams for the future. Sometimes.., things were truly better in the past.
Today, as a hard-working and highly determined 25 year old, one of the cornerstones of my existence consists of the pursuit of perfection. For almost every action I perform, whether in the company of others or on my own, I overanalyse and consider every possible outcome I can imagine. Perfection is the most futile of pursuits… and yet I find myself unable to shake the prospect… All in fear of otherwise hurting those around me. The fear of becoming that famous inconvenience that everyone would be so much better without…
Logically, I know this fear is slightly irrational but, so far, I have not been able to let logic win. For every day that passes I try my utmost to challenge the fear, slowly raging a war against the deepest parts of myself, while silently praying for relief. I promise that, when the day of victory comes, you will be the first ones’ to know.
Right at this moment I am dedicating some time to reflect on the day that has passed, and I would like to leave you all with a challenge. At some time tomorrow, feel free to choose which ever moment feels right to you, take a couple of minutes and look at the world that is surrounding you. Your task is simple.., find one thing, one thing in that beautiful world of yours, that you are thankful for. When you have find it, I want you to spend a couple of minutes reflecting on what it is that makes you thankful for that specific thing. Maybe, if we all complete the task, it will allow us to appreciate the day and life we have been given, regardless of what may have occurred before.